DayBreaks for 2/02/16: A Burden too Heavy to Bear
From the DayBreaks archive, February 2006:
Ps. 38:3-8 NLT – Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. 4 My guilt overwhelms me — it is a burden too heavy to bear. 5 My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. 6 I am bent over and racked with pain. My days are filled with grief. 7 A raging fever burns within me, and my health is broken. 8 I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart.
When was the last time that I felt this sick about my sin? I don’t think that David was particularly speaking about physical bodily illness, but his emotional and spiritual state were so severely affected by his sinfulness that it may well have caused him physical problems. He says “My whole body is sick…”, indicating that it had affected him in all aspects of his being. How could David in one Psalm and at one moment be so confident of his forgiveness and freedom from guilt, and yet be so abjectly broken as he is here? Could it be that he had been harboring a secret sin in his heart, his “besetting” sin that was haunting him and he was feeling defeated?
Why don’t I feel so badly about my sins? Have I gone overboard in thinking about and emphasizing His grace? And how can you overemphasize the magnitude of His grace towards us which is beyond our ability to grasp? Yet, I do have some sense of what David was feeling. I’ve felt hopelessly overcome with sin, so fully tainted that I can’t imagine that God would even want to look at me – let alone forgive me. When that happens, I must remember that those are lies from Satan. God does want to love me, to look at me, to hold me and forgive. Thank God for His forgiving heart! But, I think from the tone of this psalm, there is value in feeling our brokenness…it led David to confession and to seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Perhaps sometimes just grief isn’t enough…we need to be driven to utter despair before we turn to Him!
We shouldn’t run or try to hide from feelings of deep brokenness and sinfulness. They are therapeutic. They are for our good – to remind us that we need to get right with God once again and to turn from our evilness. And when we do, and we take His yoke back up again, we find that it is much easier to carry than the burden that is to heavy to bear.
TODAY’S PRAYER: Thank you for the reminder from the Psalmist of the value of brokenness. Thank you for his tender heart. Please create within us a heart that is vulnerable, a heart that can feel the burden of our sin that will turn us back to You in repentance and confession. Help us to find healing for our brokenness in You alone, and not to seek it in the pathways of sin. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.